Communicate with Care

Listening intently, leading by example, and solving problems.

Written by Rowena Morais

Difficult conversations, difficult people – it’s often easy to rush to the conclusion that the problem is the other person. 

But perhaps, it starts with everyone communicating with a little more care.

Taking ownership

What if, rather than finding ourselves having to manoeuvre around thorny issues, we worked to start a conversation more intentionally by thinking about all the ways that it could go badly? This may be especially important when we know who we are talking to, understand their pain points, and can anticipate how they may respond. 

This is particularly relevant in workplaces today, where we are confronted with individuals of all abilities, languages, cultures and more. Increased talent mobility requires greater awareness of and an understanding of diverse cultures, social norms and expectations. 

We could lead the conversation in the direction we want, but more importantly, we could take greater ownership of how we communicate. 

When we choose not to take on any blame ourselves, we also choose not to look within and notice our part in contributing to how the conversation has transpired. 

So, how do we do this? I believe that communicating with care involves listening intently, leading by example, and solving problems.

“But perhaps, it starts with everyone communicating with a little more care.”

The imperative

In the workplace, choosing to communicate with care should not be aspirational – it needs to be mandatory. 

This involves several aspects: 

  • stepping outside ourselves regularly to see how we may be perceived
  • reflecting on how the other person is choosing to listen and how they perceive an issue is being discussed
  • ensuring that both parties have the opportunity to be heard and feel safe enough to have honest conversations
  • recalibrating how to take the conversation forward as it becomes more contentious or heated

Communicating with care is a sign of respect for all parties involved and an acknowledgement that there may be several views on an issue and that multiple approaches may be possible.

Breaking it down

What are some of the ways we can choose to communicate with care in the workplace?

We can: 

  • practise active listening by asking open-ended questions
  • put our phones away and provided undivided attention and focus
  • summarise what the other person has shared to ensure we have not misunderstood 
  • be patient and focus on what the other person is saying rather than getting busy crafting our responses
  • rather than accuse, ask questions to clarify 
  • treat others with respect and how we ourselves would like to be treated
  • if the issues are particularly thorny, we can slow things down so we can reflect more as we engage
  • avoid sweeping statements like “you always”, “it’s never happened” 
  • step into the shoes of the other person to see things from their perspective
  • pay attention to any disconnect between our words and actions
  • take stock of both the verbal and non-verbal cues to get a fuller understanding
  • ensure that we are keeping open two-way conversations

These actions can help us to build trust and show the other person that we care and that their views matter, despite disagreement. These actions can take on more significance in new relationships or when the nature of relationships shift.

Systems and processes

While it is clear that there is never a one-size-fits-all solution, communicating with care can be embedded into practices, processes and systems rather than leaving it to the individual and circumstances.

Opportunities to provide feedback could be formalised alongside other avenues to cater to diverse audiences and communication styles. Training can be provided with clear examples of good and bad practices to help employees understand how we, as an organisation, want to communicate. 

Organisational leaders must create and promote safe practices and a safe environment for communicating a range of messages to different audiences.

We can showcase wins, and instead of penalising failures, we can find ways to reinforce good practices and explore how others can be better supported to achieve these goals. When leaders listen intently, lead by example, and actively solve problems, they demonstrate through their actions that they are communicating with care.

That is what we, as employees, want and expect.

While these practices may appear to be easily described here, I know how difficult many of them are to put into practice. 

However, we cannot expect others to understand us if we make no effort to do the same. Ultimately, leaders must develop, maintain and periodically review the organisational systems and processes that can support the habits, practices and culture they desire within their organisations.

Effective communication is more than just a skill. It is a responsibility. It is our responsibility. 

When we choose to communicate with care, we create a more inclusive, respectful and productive work environment for all. Every conversation is an opportunity to lead by example and to create the environment we want for ourselves and our organisation.

#PsychologicalSafety #SafeWorkplace #SafeConversations #communication